You're certainly lost if you're turning to a bunch of (however well-intentioned) strangers for help with a problem they're very unlikely to be able to help you with - they have no idea who you are, your situation, your history, your personality nor do they have much of a stake in your sorting things out. The best you can hope for is some well-meaning platitudes and interesting-but-likely-inapplicable personal anecdotes. The accepted cliché is that recognizing you have a problem is the most difficult step. Since you've got that covered, you're probably best off moving on to the (supposedly) easier bits like where to look for help - the standard list includes things like family, friends, mental health-care professionals, etc. Usually not 'web forums', mostly for a good reason.