Agree with your additions completely and would amend your #3 to say that PHP was big on re-use in the small, as well. I've known folks starting out with PHP who cobble a script together by copy-pasting snippets of code from here and there. Inelegant, yes, but when you are working on a small project it was usually effective.
This leads me to one point about PHP's documentation that I was surprised not to see. Their documentation has always (as long as I can remember, at least) had public comments. On many occasions questions I have had or example code I needed was crowdsourced by the public and located in-line below the function reference. I have been surprised other platforms don't make more extensive use of this.
Finally, in response to your "I guess I'm looking for something else." Understand your discontent - I've felt it myself over the past couple years and have found myself toying with Djagno, et. al. This fall I found myself returning to PHP with a mission to create a framework that I could use and not feel shamed to be in PHP. It's still early in development (4 months) but I believe it is looking good and getting exciting. It's called Recess, check it out sometime: http://www.recessframework.org/
This leads me to one point about PHP's documentation that I was surprised not to see. Their documentation has always (as long as I can remember, at least) had public comments. On many occasions questions I have had or example code I needed was crowdsourced by the public and located in-line below the function reference. I have been surprised other platforms don't make more extensive use of this.
Finally, in response to your "I guess I'm looking for something else." Understand your discontent - I've felt it myself over the past couple years and have found myself toying with Djagno, et. al. This fall I found myself returning to PHP with a mission to create a framework that I could use and not feel shamed to be in PHP. It's still early in development (4 months) but I believe it is looking good and getting exciting. It's called Recess, check it out sometime: http://www.recessframework.org/