without addressing procrastination and the ability you have developed to avoid executing on your dreams, i believe that everything else will be or feel insurmountable.
Nothing is at all lost, 43 is young, you are highly trained, you had skills you were happy with, it's infinitely easier to brush up on skills than learn them the first time.
You have to execute to turn this around. I would set completely realistic trivial goals for yourself to begin with, so that you can practice executing and winning.
Some examples:
"Apply for a single job per day".
"Walk 5 minutes per day".
Things that you know 100% you can achieve. After achieving these for a couple days or weeks, sit back and celebrate, you're executing! you're taking the steps necessary to begin turning your life around. It is one small step at a time. Mark your calendar with green on the days you achieve, watch the greens add up, you are executing you are making strides to improve your life. Celebrate, keep expanding your goals.
Nothing is at all lost, 43 is young, you are highly trained, you had skills you were happy with, it's infinitely easier to brush up on skills than learn them the first time.
You have to execute to turn this around. I would set completely realistic trivial goals for yourself to begin with, so that you can practice executing and winning.
Some examples:
"Apply for a single job per day".
"Walk 5 minutes per day".
Things that you know 100% you can achieve. After achieving these for a couple days or weeks, sit back and celebrate, you're executing! you're taking the steps necessary to begin turning your life around. It is one small step at a time. Mark your calendar with green on the days you achieve, watch the greens add up, you are executing you are making strides to improve your life. Celebrate, keep expanding your goals.