> here's a thing: I can't always tell whether some adjustment is an actual need
Yes! I struggle with this a lot. Despite talking about things and me putting genuine effort into making improvements, I continually seem to make changes which miss the mark. It’s as though we speak the same language with different meanings.
> life-long habit of molding myself
Likewise, and it’s not always crystal clear to me when I’m doing it, either. It’s becoming clearer over time, but even when I know, it isn’t trivial to just stop.
Similar to you, I wasn’t diagnosed until age 35 or so, and a lot of these habits and mannerisms are very deeply baked in.
> Rule 1A
I agree completely. I won’t claim to be a bastion of self awareness, but I will say that the awareness I do have is a major source of pain and frustration at times. Similar to the author in the article, I’ve come to see the inevitability of it all and I try to be frustrated less, and more accountable and constructive instead. It can be sort of paralyzing to dwell on it.
Thanks for the thoughtful response. I hope you make progress on this too. We were diagnosed late, but there’s no reason we can’t gradually shift the tides and begin making steady improvements.
Yes! I struggle with this a lot. Despite talking about things and me putting genuine effort into making improvements, I continually seem to make changes which miss the mark. It’s as though we speak the same language with different meanings.
> life-long habit of molding myself
Likewise, and it’s not always crystal clear to me when I’m doing it, either. It’s becoming clearer over time, but even when I know, it isn’t trivial to just stop.
Similar to you, I wasn’t diagnosed until age 35 or so, and a lot of these habits and mannerisms are very deeply baked in.
> Rule 1A
I agree completely. I won’t claim to be a bastion of self awareness, but I will say that the awareness I do have is a major source of pain and frustration at times. Similar to the author in the article, I’ve come to see the inevitability of it all and I try to be frustrated less, and more accountable and constructive instead. It can be sort of paralyzing to dwell on it.
Thanks for the thoughtful response. I hope you make progress on this too. We were diagnosed late, but there’s no reason we can’t gradually shift the tides and begin making steady improvements.