This isn't relevant to the actual message of the post, but something that caught my eye was in the paragraph about thinking you are "too X to be Y". Most of them make sense, and I can understand people thinking the Y because of feeling the X. Except these two:
too effeminate to be straight
too smart to be kind
Am I being foolish or do those two not fit? I can imagine someone thinking "I'm too sensitive, that's not how a man should be", I can't imagine someone thinking "I'm effeminate, I guess I can't be straight after all".
They are all false. The point is that people hide parts of themselves so that they can more cleanly fit into whatever categories they identify with. How many straight men act macho out of fear of seeming gay?
Ah, I mis-understood your premise for that paragraph then - sorry!
On another offtopic note, I think the whole having to be macho thing is changing pretty fast though - not yet disappeared, but on its way. One of the biggest things I've noticed (in England) is that it's very common to see boys, aged 7-16 wearing pink tshirts. Even in my childhood ~10 years ago I don't think I remember any friends or anyone my age wearing pink for it being too feminine a colour. And that's just one random thing, but that trend seems to hold true in my experience in adults too, and not just in clothing.
