I don't think it was more effort in the past, it's just we (especially for the middle class up) made everything else much more effortless (in the service economy), so this eventually bubbled up to the list of "hard" things.
I know we are talking far away from something that can be proven with data, but I can't imagine that friendship ever wasn't a function of time an effort.
Well, at least personally, it was easy to make and maintain friendships in school where I was seeing the same people over and over again, naturally and spontaneously. It was a function of time, but that time came effortlessly and automatically.
Except it always was. We belong to a very close knit catholic parish, and it takes constant effort to keep it up. I'm a part of the men's club, and we're always doing work -- like actual work -- to make sure the social aspects of the parish work and people can meet friends. We work to encourage friend making, dating, etc. For example, the men regularly wake up before the first mass (so we're talking before 7 AM) to get breakfast ready. That's work. It means getting up early on a saturday morning to foster the kind of social environment we want.
This is not a new thing. In fact, it was more prominent in the past. Knights of Columbus councils like the one i'm in are smaller than ever. Growing up, our knights of columbus was huge, and the guys there again did actual work to keep the community going.
That's group friendship. My parents kept a few friends individually and again... this is also work. My mother would regularly cook large elaborate meals for the sole purpose of having people over... even friends she didn't like. She'd complain about her friend for hours and hours and hours (mainly about political differences) but still invite them over, because to her it's better to have friends than to cut someone out, and anyway... she could barely cut out her friends from her life, much less her family. These days, people cut people off because they aren't on the same page politically, don't have the same taste, etc. Some people literally won't meet up with friends because they have a better thing to do... it's so individualistic as to be toxic.
This is not to say my mother was a pushover by any means. My parents did cut out people from their lives, including family, but it had to be for egregious reasons. For example, my dad's sister and her husband were cut out because they enslaved my parents, but unless someone's going to go to that level of depravity, I don't think my parents could cut someone out of their life.
Yes. Sponsored to work in this country by his sister. The brother in law owned a few restaurants. My dad was made to work by family pressure. It was reported he was making x amount to the government to keep him here but he never saw the money. He 'worked' for a few years like this
He was driven to various Indian restaurant locations in southern California. Forced to work more than eight hours a day, then driven back to sisters house.
When he married my mother and she immigrated she saw what was going on and ran away and took my dad. We don't talk about the sister any more. I didn't realize my father had two sisters until much later in life.
The scary thing is how open this was. If you're familiar with fancy Indian restaurants in orange, la and Riverside county you'll likely have eaten there. Sister and brother in law were otherwise respectable doctors (including one in public health believe it or not) and otherwise beyond reproach...
There was no hope getting the wages back. My mom and dad started from nothing after several years in the country.
Frankly this sort of slavery is very common, especially among south Asians and is rarely discussed. My parents know a few other full on slaves who were never released to their knowledge. You might ask... Shouldn't we help them... Well we could certainly help them in america, but brother in law is a high caste indian so he would punish the family in India.
There's nothing we could do. This is something the state department and ice need to solve.
But see, that’s just not the case historically speaking. Why has it become so much more effort in recent times?