quit my job in 2018 as I was totally burnt out. figured id take a couple months off and get back to it. spent all of 2019 job hunting with no success. took my last interview in January 2020 which was also a dead end. beaten up and making zero money for all that time takes quite a toll. wife and i had our first child in march. have been a babysitter since then more or less. happy to have our child but feel totally worthless; zero income, zero prospects, tons of student debt, nothing to my name. have attempted freelance work but finding more than 15 minutes where I can sit down and do something is impossible. keep failing to start or finish things, missing deadlines. feel totally burnt out again. probably even more unlikely I can find a job at this point, no money to do anything. just completely stuck.
taking care of a small child is exhausting. the way our culture says a person can do that full time and also work full time is completely unrealistic. But the shape of it changes over time - you’re what, nine months in? that’s still the hard time. Over the next few months, it will get easier, little by little. The kind of attention that a child needs changes, and while it continues to be intense, I find having a 2-year-old so much less mentally draining than having a small baby was.
If you can, just try to be present in the moment. Maybe you can’t work right now, but what you’re doing is important. Being a good parent will do more good for the world than almost anything you will ever do for money
thanks for the reply - its nice to hear some perspective. yes I have a much better appreciation for full time childcare and the associated stresses now. i absolutely want to be the best parent i can; for now i guess that manifests itself in direct time and attention. its just hard to come to terms with not being able to enjoy intellectual pursuits, projects, etc., not being able to feel like I'm contributing much to our situation and just not knowing when things will change. my wife has been great dealing with her side of things at the same time (and I probably don't say that enough tbh).
quit my job in 2018 as I was totally burnt out. figured id take a couple months off and get back to it. spent all of 2019 job hunting with no success. took my last interview in January 2020 which was also a dead end. beaten up and making zero money for all that time takes quite a toll. wife and i had our first child in march. have been a babysitter since then more or less. happy to have our child but feel totally worthless; zero income, zero prospects, tons of student debt, nothing to my name. have attempted freelance work but finding more than 15 minutes where I can sit down and do something is impossible. keep failing to start or finish things, missing deadlines. feel totally burnt out again. probably even more unlikely I can find a job at this point, no money to do anything. just completely stuck.