You nail it, I think. Being nice to contributors leads to bullying. Contributors assume, then feel entitled, and it gets harder and harder to say 'no' -- and it's probably very taxing.
Linus shoots first, that keeps the bullying down -- of course everyone else thinks he is the bully, however he's just protecting himself. I've spent many years victim of bullying, and I know that the only way to beat a bully is to out-bully him.
I think Linus's main point is that if he seems happy about something he's actually uncomfortable with, developers can sink a lot of work into something he ultimately doesn't like and doesn't want in the kernel. So the aggressive approach is to stave off that outcome, which is fair. I suspect he also enjoys it - which is also fair enough.
I think with Linus' "my way or the highway", at least some of it comes from early upbringing. His dad ran for president (unsuccessfully) in Finland recently - intelligent, likeable but very opionated guy.
Linus shoots first, that keeps the bullying down -- of course everyone else thinks he is the bully, however he's just protecting himself. I've spent many years victim of bullying, and I know that the only way to beat a bully is to out-bully him.