I would have to agree with this. When using services like BetterHelp, it has always felt super transactional. Like a drive-thru experience, but therapy.
If you're going to be spending out of pocket for anything, at least try getting help through in-network therapists. There are so many fantastic mental health practitioners who are amazing that do not subscribe themselves to online platforms like BetterHelp.
What's better? By spending less out of your pocket, you can see them on a more frequent basis.
I'll add one more thing: prior to the pandemic, it was often hard to get insurance to cover telehealth therapy. Now, it is common practice. Many therapists working in clinics or private practice do a hybrid model allowing clients to visit in-person or via Zoom/etc.
The cost of therapy is covered by an increasing number of insurance plans, so it's worth doing a few minutes of research/phone calling before paying out of pocket.
I don't understand this US vs THEM mentality. Yes, you were the nerd that might have been excluded from other people's world because they didn't deem you 'cool enough'.
But now you are excluding others from joining your world. Are you not as bad as the people who made you feel displaced?
Heres a dirty little secret about "real nerds". As far as bullying and exclusion goes, they give as good as they get. I knew some so called nerds in high school who were picked on. I knew more who socially isolated themselves by being arrogant jerks to everyone else, especially those they considered to be of lower intelligence. I dont fit the real nerd stereotype. I played football and I don't like dnd. I resent the notion that I am some kind of brogrammer picking on the poor helpless nerds. Who is really picking on who here? If it truly is about the code, as the author states, then why should this bs about authentic nerd culture even matter?
> I knew more who socially isolated themselves by being arrogant jerks to everyone else, especially those they considered to be of lower intelligence.
I knew people like that too, though I can't tell how often it was because they were just jerks with technical interests, and how much it was a defense mechanism, trying to maintain a little bit of self-esteem while being constantly bullied.
> I dont fit the real nerd stereotype. I played football and I don't like dnd. I resent the notion that I am some kind of brogrammer picking on the poor helpless nerds. Who is really picking on who here?
I don't think that was the message coming from the article. Most of the hardcore nerd circles I know would happily accept you and wouldn't mind you like football and are not into DnD. But usually this doesn't work the other way - your DnD-playing football-agnostic nerd gets picked on and called a "nolife".
> If it truly is about the code, as the author states, then why should this bs about authentic nerd culture even matter?
Because the author states that the nerd culture is (among other things) about "the code over status games".
>I knew people like that too, though I can't tell how often it was because they were just jerks with technical interests, and how much it was a defense mechanism, trying to maintain a little bit of self-esteem while being constantly bullied.
Yeah well 9 times out of 10 the "jocks" who bullied the "nerds" were doing it out of a deep seated insecurity too. Just because someone self identifies with a subculture does not mean they are any less capable of being an asshole.
Because they're not joining, they're invading, and we have all the reasons to feel afraid that we will get pushed out again. And honestly, I'm fine with the fact that tech has grown beyond the culture that created it. I'm uncomfortable that what this "extended tech industry" produces is often a bastardization of what we so loved and cared. I get it, different priorities, I'm fine with that too.
What I am not fine with is the cultural invasion, the people suddenly appearing, realizing there is more of them than us "weirdos" and telling us "this is our field now, you are outnumbered, you must conform to our standars". "OK, join our field; the good land is rich, and can provide for everyone. But why won't you let us live in peace, why you need to keep bullying us?".
This US vs THEM mentality is something that was not created by "weird nerds" - all those nerds wanted was to be accepted. But we had to escape, because mainstream society doesn't accept our way of thinking (curiosity, intellectual interests, intellectual honesty) and bullied us. It's them who started it, and it's them who are invading our safe harbour again.
And it probably would still be fine if social justice crowd just stayed away.
Anyway; the article explained it very well, actually.
I've always been a nerd. From birth. From the ugly glasses and the math team and the BBSs on. From dumpster-diving for computers because I couldn't afford them. From emacs vs vi.
I'm also female. I don't like being pushed out of my own d*&mned nerdy home by people who think I'm invading because I happen to stand up for myself.
> And it probably would still be fine if social justice crowd just stayed away.
I have no sympathy if you feel uncomfortable or threatened by people who expect you to treat others with respect, especially when you use terms like "invading" and prop yourself up as a paragon of intellectual pursuits.
> if you feel uncomfortable or threatened by people who expect you to treat others with respect
That's not the people I'm talking about. Social justice crowd is the exact oposite of treating others with respect. And by their actions they are exacerbating the very problems they claim to fight against.
> when you use terms like "invading"
That's what it feels like.
> prop yourself up as a paragon
Well, I played Paragon Shepard, for what it's worth.
I grew up as nerd and was bullied both emotionally and physically (although less so physically than others probably). Since i have have some small understanding of what it's like to feel excluded, I welcome all folks involved in social justice into our nerdy communities.
If you're going to be spending out of pocket for anything, at least try getting help through in-network therapists. There are so many fantastic mental health practitioners who are amazing that do not subscribe themselves to online platforms like BetterHelp.
What's better? By spending less out of your pocket, you can see them on a more frequent basis.