1. There is absolutely no sympathy:
The problem with ADHD is that it is a disorder of degree not kind. If I had epilepsy or cancer or had some of my limbs missing then people around me would be supportive and understanding. But not ADHD. Everybody's mind wanders. Everyone would like to only do interesting things. Everyone forgets things from time to time. But, the problem is the degree to which these afflict people with ADHD.
We don't expect someone without legs to walk normally or properly. Yet, when it comes to the mind we have little patience. Somehow, we expect people to get their act together. We label them lazy, unmotivated and indisciplined. A product of poor parenting. We get frustrated that they are not reaching their full potential. In a way, having ADHD in 2014 is like being Gay or having an interracial marriage in the 60s or 70s. Ignorant cynical judgmental people assume that you can will your way out of ADHD through discipline and will power.
2. ADHD does give you super powers:
Insane creativity. The ability to think outside the box. The ability to make off the wall zany connections. Always looking for small advantages and using creativity to your advantage. I use mnemonics to remember things. I hired people overseas who follow up on everything I do. I built products that are on track to doing well. When I do succeed, people write it off as being lucky.
I wish I could write more. But I am actually supposed to be doing something else right now.
Recently diagnosed myself, I spent years and years trying to control it via willpower. The real turning point when I realized I needed to see someone was a few months ago. I found that hobbies I loved (gaming, programming, etc) would no longer hold my attention and I was compulsively getting up and wandering to the kitchen/bathroom just because my brain felt like it was frying. This is extremely hard to explain, because I'm not slacking to get off of work and do something fun like everyone else, I was compulsively slacking because very little would grab me.
In the example you list, it'd be like telling the first person, "Everyone feels bloated after eating a big meal - that doesn't mean you need to stay in bed all day when you think you have 'food poisoning'".
I agree that it's frustrating to read articles like this that trivialize mental disorders and downplay the struggles that they can actually cause for people.
Sure. So, I pay like $60 - $70 per month per person. I found highly detail oriented, responsible and non judgmental individuals via elance.com, guru.com, taskrabbit (before it changed its model.) I hired two people.
All they have to do it ping me on Skype/Gmail and ping me every hour for a few hours from Mon - Sat. Once in the morning and 3 to 4 times in the evening. It just takes them a few seconds. That's it. They will just check in on your progress and hold you accountable. They will notice patterns and give advice. Like for ex: If I am not very productive, they will tell me to go to Starbucks so I can focus. Basically I am outsourcing my executive functioning.
I am constantly on the lookout for tips and tricks that worked for other ADHD people who became successful. So, this one I picked from Trudie Styler (Sting's wife). Also it pays to read the comment section of ADHD related articles because that is a goldmine of useful anecdotal information. There was this case where the mom complained that the reason her son did well in school was because he failed a grade and was doing school with along his sister. His sister kept him on track and followed up with everything he was supposed to do. Now that he is about to go to college alone, the mom mentioned her fears about his future. So a combination of these pushed me to build a team around me that keeps me on track.
Ditto on advice: I'm in the same boat and I have a virtual assistant check with me daily to make sure I'm on target as well. I noticed I'm fairly socially accountable to others (but have a severe disrespect for personal timelines) so the way to make it work for me is to basically somehow involve another person checkling in on all the priorities I make.
I created a profile in the above mentioned sites and posted the job requirements. I mentioned that I was very disorganized and needed help to keep me on track. All I needed was someone who would check in on me every hour on Skype/SMS for a few hours every day. Basically, they would enquire about my progress and how far I have come in the last 1 hour on a particular task.
As soon as you post the job, you get responses within 30 mins. Now, most applicants won't even care to modify their prebuilt response templates or even read the requirements properly. These are easy to weed out. Now, the single most important characteristic of the person you hire is that they should care about your success. You don't want someone who just goes through the motions. You want someone who is assertive and will be your help mate.
After that I made a list of 4 to 5 most important things I wanted to achieve in my life. (Source: Think and Grow Rich) Then made a list of things I wanted to achieve in the next 10 years. 5 years. 1 year and 6 months. I emailed these lists. Then, I made daily, weekly, monthly actionable plans to propel me towards my goals.
This will give them ( and you ) a rough picture of what it is that you are trying to do. The thing is that you can ignore a software reminder but it is difficult to ignore a reminder from another person.
At the end of the day, I get an email report listing all the tasks that I did and those I skipped.
1. There is absolutely no sympathy: The problem with ADHD is that it is a disorder of degree not kind. If I had epilepsy or cancer or had some of my limbs missing then people around me would be supportive and understanding. But not ADHD. Everybody's mind wanders. Everyone would like to only do interesting things. Everyone forgets things from time to time. But, the problem is the degree to which these afflict people with ADHD.
We don't expect someone without legs to walk normally or properly. Yet, when it comes to the mind we have little patience. Somehow, we expect people to get their act together. We label them lazy, unmotivated and indisciplined. A product of poor parenting. We get frustrated that they are not reaching their full potential. In a way, having ADHD in 2014 is like being Gay or having an interracial marriage in the 60s or 70s. Ignorant cynical judgmental people assume that you can will your way out of ADHD through discipline and will power.
2. ADHD does give you super powers: Insane creativity. The ability to think outside the box. The ability to make off the wall zany connections. Always looking for small advantages and using creativity to your advantage. I use mnemonics to remember things. I hired people overseas who follow up on everything I do. I built products that are on track to doing well. When I do succeed, people write it off as being lucky.
I wish I could write more. But I am actually supposed to be doing something else right now.