because they don't have solutions or useful advise. They don't think anything is wrong but the person who's presenting the actual problem. It's sometimes useful to consider the possibility you're wrong, but what OP describes is clearly not unique to his team or company. Many of us are in the same boat. So at least in this particular case, the "toughlover" is indeed, a "douchebag".

Because the tough love solution is always "Take responsibility for improving your own situation."

The complainer says "It's not my fault!" The tough-lover responds, "Yes, it's not your fault. But it's still your problem."

Sometimes you need to be slightly offended or put off in order to change your own stubborn mindset. I see both sides in this exchange. OP has a choice they can make. They can continue to coast or strive to do better. There isn't necessarily a wrong choice here, but I do believe their long-term future outcomes will be strongly affected by the choice they make.

Isn't that the case by definition?